I am doing a 4 part series of post about that inner voice that crushes your dreams, keeps you from trying new things, meeting new people and perhaps keep you stuck thinking you just aren't good enough, smart enough or derseving of a great life.
The first step in the Flip the Script Process is to become Aware of your Gremlin/Inner Critic. In order to recognize a gremlin you have to examine your current situation or goal. How are you doing with goals? Are you are finding it difficult to acheive them? What challenges are you facing? Are you are just feeling stuck in Life? WHY? Sit with these type of questions....journal....meditate. Do what works for you but really work to figure out what is blocking your progress. What is the main thought that stops you in your tracks. Have you faced this challenge or been stuck before? What were your thoughts about that? Is there a pattern? Maybe it's a deep rooted thought that has returned for an encore. It is always helpful to look in your past to find where this block comes from. Keep digging and questioning until you find out what is really stopping you and why. What is the major thought or thoughts that interfere with your progress. Just as an example, I always seemed to have issues with money. Things could be great for a long period of time. Then all of a sudden the money flow stopped which left me to figure out what to do next. I always blamed these dry periods on the cyclical nature of real estate. Now this is true to a point, however, I should have prepared for the slow down since real estate has always been cyclical. When work and money flow slowed down I always felt scared and paralyzed. I would wrestle with my options. I didn't know if I should get a temporary job; change careers so this didn't happen again; maybe just get a part-time job; or just do the best I can until the market returned to normal. I usually opted for the last one. I just spun until work started flowing again. I hated the sinking feeling I got when I thought about my work and money situtation. In my discovery work around this situation I found 3 areas where my inner critic was blocking my success and keeping me stuck. The biggest was my Lack Mentality. This goes way back to my childhood. Money was tight in our family. I don't think this was something my parents talked about but I just knew not to ask for things because we didn't have a lot of money. I also had a Lack Mentality when it came to my knowledge, skills and abilities. Now this is a problem when you are faced with getting a job, especially when you think about changing your career. I would look for a job but I didn't feel qualified for any of the jobs that paid enough and that I were interesting. There was a bit of the "I'm not good enough" in this line of thought. My third revelation was my Fear of Failure. What if I made a career change or started a new business and found out I wasn't good at it. I didn't want to dissapoint my new boss, my clients or myself. So I was faced with a lot of negative self talk around money and my ability to find other work. My lack mentality around money came from my interpretation of our family's finances when I was growing up. My limiting belief that I wasn't qualified or good enough stems from the rough time I had in 5th grade transitioning to a new school. I felt like I didn't know as much as the kids in my new class. I felt I wasn't qualified to be there. I didn't fail the 5th grade but my grades were much lower than they had been prior to the new school. I failed my own expectations of where my grades should have been. Based on this one year of school, I lost my confidence and didn't believe in myself. The false belief that my knowledge, skills and abilities were lacking, led to the assumtion that I wasn't good enough and I would fail at a new career path. Because of my fears, my gremlin stepped in to protect me from disappointment. He was just doing what I told him to do. I didn't want to feel fear, rejection and dissappointment. So he made sure I didn't! He was always there to talk me out of stepping outside of my comfort zone and making a career change. So... enough about me! After you have your inner critic message nailed down and maybe even discover WHY you have this thought, it's time to attach feelings to these thoughts. When you think about the thought that stops you in your tracks, how does that make you feel? Is it a good feeling? The next question to ask your self is "When I think this thought and feel this feeling, what action do I take?" Do you proceed with the plan? Does your situation improve? Do you continue to listen to your gremlin? How is that helping? Maybe these questions don't bring the best thoughts and feelings but they are what they are. It's a necessary step in the process. Feel the feelings. Decide that you are ready to let go of them and that change is possible. You can make great things happen. The next post will be about Accepting your situation; Accepting the power you have to make changes and Accepting the challenge in moving forward. You got this!
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AuthorKathy Kissinger is very focused on helping others get back to a more aligned life as their true self. Coaching through life's transitions is her specialty. Archives
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